Demands in sports have a demotivating role. It takes the form of “a must be, because it is like that.” If they become incomprehensible, they will be counterproductive because it generates obsessive, self-sufficient and closed-minded players. On the contrary, the paradigm of trust creates passionate players who are open to be helped by others and by self-improvement. This way, they display their potential and. Both paradigms can be confused but the mental process is different.
Self-demandingness, which is the expectations that the golfer has of itself, can be comprehensive or sadistic. The sadism submits the player to its errors, blaming and cursing himself for not having achieved the expected result. On the other hand, the comprehensive self-demandingness, which belongs to the paradigm of trust, accepts, works the errors out, and neutralizes the aggressiveness of the demand. Thus, the comprehensive disclose the player’s real potential, which is not moved by impositions, but as a result of the connection with the own impulse.
Self-demandingness increase its power because the requirements of the environment of the player. The golfer does not perceive the demands of their parents and coaches through the words that they say but of what they think and move, through the non-verbal language. The coach or parent may believe that the explicit and latent demands are different. But the golfer, especially the young one, perceives all of them. In fact, the implicit ones are more harmful because of the effort needed to be understood.
In general exigence is intended to be diminishing because it freezes the player out and it is lived as burden. But exigence itself it is not harmful. What really paralyze the player are the external demands that are internalized. Inner demands arise from the personal desires. They are natural and voluntarily seek.
Sometimes, when trying to motivate the player external demands are imposed. This demands are promoted according to what other believe is better for the golfer, without taking into account the last one’s thoughts. The demands are invasive and corrosive to the development of the golfer because instead of respecting the internal experience, demand results that overwhelm them. Confidence is not a result of the demands, but it is a consequence of internal processes that affirm the personality.
Each player has a level and a different type of demand that must be detected and understood, if not it could aggravate the situation. It is a common mistake to do this by imposing more demands, in order to work the excess of demands out.
What really clears up the overweight of rigid responsibilities and demands is releasing the player from this tension. In this manner, motivation comes up making the player feels released and thankful for the deep empathy.
The demand weakens the feeling of power. For example when someone finds it hard to train and is required to do so; he will find it harder because their sense of power is feeling under threat. On the contrary, some players tolerate the demands better because have a stronger feeling of power, and although they are pushed, the demand doesn’t hurt them.
There is a deep need to give free rein to the impulses, breaking any plan, structure, and previous idea. It is an experience of limitless possibilities, beyond any rationality. In other words this need is an experience of freedom and liberation, of doing what one wants that is enhanced even when the impulses are restrained. The challenge is to learn to release them in an orderly manner according to the future goals.
It is not about demanding, but to encourage and motivate the player to try to surpass it self’s limits in each workout and each game, respecting their internal processes and looking for professional advice.
If the goal is too demanding, the golfer suffers. This is a problem for the performance itself likewise their quality of life. It is even worst for the young players who have their entire career ahead.
In order to make the goal exciting and attractive, pushing to act naturally, understanding the majority of the performance’s variables is required.
Therefore to develop will and motivation, the demands and the feeling of power and their relationship must be understood. When willing seem to have vanished it is mostly because request has covered it, but the desire itself remains behind this demand. For example, if someone asks you if you want to read a whole book, you will probably say yes, that you want, but as you feel that you cannot, you won´t feel like doing it. Motivate means making the player’s demand themselves naturally and voluntarily.
The objectives can be pressing and thrilling at the same time. The aim to stand out as the best among the rest weighs the player down. The maturity of the performance is supposed to stimulate the golfers more than putting pressure on them.
Being more comfortable targeting to be among the former, but not to be the first or winning the competition, shows that pressure is more significant than the excitement.
It is not easy to realize the damage that concepts as commitment, sacrifice, effort, and discipline can cause because of their hidden demanding level. It is necessary to find the desire, beyond the effort.
Commitment is a dangerous concept because it implies disconnecting demands from the real impulses and hiding true motivation. If the golfer doesn´t do something, it is because he didn´t find a deep sense by doing so. When it makes sense to the player, desires rises on him.
What from the outside is described as “discipline,” must be understood from the interior as “work to achieve consistency.” What from the outside is described as “commitment demand,” must be understood as “connection with the self-overcoming for the desired development.” The discipline becomes a value when you have chosen it, and it was not imposed. The coach must generate the means for the golfer to ask for discipline because he finds a sense in that.
The challenge is to be aware of whether our actions are based on responsibility and effort or eagerness and passion.
In the same way, attitude cannot be demanded it; you have to create it. The player is not going to fulfill others expectation, they want to achieve their goals in their own way and having fun.
Demands could lead the golfer lose their heads, burning and on the way to hate golf. They have to reduce the demanding speed to not be a torture and enjoy the game as if they were in their favorite hobby.
The confidence is inversely proportional to the degree of external demands. When the pressure rises, the confidence goes down, and vice versa.